correction of dissertation abstract

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correction of dissertation abstract

Post by angellu2 » 06 Nov 2012 17:02

Hi everybody,
I've finished my dissertation and translated the abstract into english. My english is not that perfect, so I would be happy if someone would have a look at it and help me.

Here it is:

The Pars tuberalis is a part of the hypophysis, which is advanced against the median eminence. The pars tuberalis is an important connecting link between hypothalamus and the anterior pituitary. The pars tuberalis contains a high number of melatonin receptors, which controls seasonal body functions.\\

Since transgenic mouse models have been developed, the function of the pars tuberalis is often explored in this kind of models. Because of preparatory problems, there are too less datas about the microscopic anatomy of the pars tuberalis and its surrounding structures in mice.\\

The objective of this dissertation is to explore the pars tuberalis and its surrounding in two melatonin sufficient mice phylum (wildtype and C3H) and on a melatonin deficient mice phylum (C57 Black).\\

For that reason paraffin slices from formaline fixated and decalcificated mice heads were made. Those where coloured with Cresylviolet and Haematoxyllin-Eosin. Based on this slice series, were made an Atlas and a three-dimensional reconstruction of the pars tuberalis and its surrounding structures.\\

This following mature findings have been collated: In the three-dimensional reconstruction the pars tuberalis shows the shape of a gardening trowel. The forward part is unpaired and consists of one or more cell layers, which shows close relations to the median eminence and the portal vessels. This part continues caudal in a hillocked slab and lateral in the pairy part, the two horns.The highly vascularised pars tuberalis is interwoved with the meninx.\\

Between pars tuberalis and pars distalis, there is a fluent passage. On the other hand between pars intermedia and pars tuberalis is a distinct boundary.\\

There are conspicuous differences in the pars tuberalis and the median eminence of the different phylums. The most vascularized unpaired pars tuberalis part is in the wildtype phylum, also the horns were the most broadest. The narrowst pair of horns and the least vascularisation were found in the C57 Black mice. \\

The dissertation provides a detailled microscopic anatomical description of the pars tuberalis of Wildtype-, C3H- and C57 Black mice and showed that the melatonin deficiency comes along with structural changes in the pars tuberalis.
Thank you in advance for your help.

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Re: correction of dissertation abstract

Post by Sisyphe » 12 Nov 2012 02:02

:) I am definitly unskilled at writing correctly in english, but :

a) You orthography is unconsistent : vascularised (UK) OR vascularized (US), choose one.
b) narrowest (*narrowst by Shakespeare, perhaps...)
c) "and shows that the melantonin etc." - why the past tense ?

:hello: Salutations from a grad student to a poor and anguished mate, and good luck for defense :prof: ... Sometime, I am happy not to be a mouse, though uninteresting my Pars tuberalis might be...
La plupart des occasions des troubles du monde sont grammairiennes (Montaigne, II.12)

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