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PostPosted: 25 May 2016 15:04 
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Joined: 25 May 2016 14:57
Posts: 1
Bonjour, je suis en Terminale L et je passe mon oral d'anglais dans quelques jours. Quelqu'un aurait-il la gentillesse de me corriger les fautes de grammaire et d'orthographe de ce texte ou bien d'une partie ? Merci d'avance ! :D

Places and forms of power

I'm going to talk about the notion of locations and forms of power.
Firstly, I'm going to give a definition of this notion. Power is a strength or force exerted or capable of being exerted, power is synonym of might.
I'm going to talk about the power of words.
By which means the words do exert their power on us?

I have chosen 3 documents to illustrate this notions:
- Listen mr Oxford Don by John Agard, 1985
- Protests in the 60s and 70s, an article of the website lessonsite.com
-An extract of “ I have a Dream “ by Martin Luther King, 1963
I. In a first part, I'm going to talk about protest song.
The song “listen Mr Oxford don” by John Agard is an excellent example to talk about the power of words.
“Listen Mr Oxford don” is a protest song.
A protest song conveys a protest message, a message against something or someone.
It’s a weapon without violence. He uses English as an art to communicate. His breath allows him to criticize the English upper class. He uses words as a powerful weapon just as protest artists who defend their point of view with art. He uses his language as a peaceful means to explain his ideas to people who do not agree with him. Words can transcend conventional weapon and can after the world more than nuclear warheads.

II. In a second part, I'm going to talk about Martin Luther king Speech.

The speech by Martin Luther King is an excellent example to talk about the power of words.
This Document is an extract from "I have a dream" speech by Martin Luther king.

Martin Luther King wishes, with chosen and powerful words, to convey the values that really matter for him such as the hope that one day there won't be any inequality between blacks and whites.
He uses words in such a skillful manner that his famous speech reaches his goal: Many people become aware of the sheer injustice experienced by black Americans.
To convince the audience in front him, Martin Luther King repeats several times the important ideas ("I have a dream") so that people remember them.
He also uses clear and simple ideas that everybody can grasp (“this is our hope")
So this speech is a form of power. The speeches make it possible to speak with a group or a population and thus to expose arguments, ideas to inform or convince a large number of people.

III. In a third part, I’m going to talk about protest in a 60s and 70s.

In the 60s and 70, there were movements to fight against the injustices and to establish the equality of the rights for everybody.
This document is an article for the website Lessonsite.com
(Quote)
This document explains the ways that this movement uses to make known and to claim their cause. Thus, they strikes and steps, distribute leaflets and petitions.
The words have an important function and power at the time of the protest movements. The words are present on the panels of the strikers, on the leaflets and the petitions and they are stressed by the protesters. They make it possible to convert people with their cause.


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PostPosted: 29 May 2016 02:48 
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Joined: 20 Feb 2009 16:20
Posts: 44
Hi gizmoz,

Your first sentence sounds better if you use the word “subject” instead of “notion”. So then your sentence reads “I’m going to talk about the subject of locations and forms of power.” But that still doesn’t sound very good, because the word “of” is used more than once. We Anglophones often don’t like having two “of”s close together in the same sentence. So I rearranged this first sentence, thereby getting rid of one "of" but keeping the other.

Here is a revised version of your text:

The subject that I'm going to talk about concerns locations and forms of power.
Firstly, I'm going to give a definition of power. Power is a strength or force exerted or capable of being exerted; power is a synonym of might.
I'm going to talk about the power of words.
By what means do words exert their power on us?

I have chosen 3 documents to illustrate this subject:
- “Listen Mr. Oxford Don” by John Agard, 1985
- An extract of “I Have a Dream” by Martin Luther King, 1963
- “Protests in the 60s and 70s”, an article of the website lessonsite.com

I. In a first part, I'm going to talk about a protest song.
The song “Listen Mr. Oxford Don” by John Agard is an excellent example to talk about the power of words.
“Listen Mr. Oxford Don” is a protest song.
A protest song conveys a protest message, a message against something or someone.
It’s a weapon without violence. In Agard’s protest song, he uses English as an art to communicate. His breath allows him to criticize the English upper class. He uses words as a powerful weapon just as protest artists who defend their point of view with art. He uses his language as a peaceful means to explain his ideas to people who do not agree with him. Words can transcend conventional weapons and can affect/alter the world more than nuclear warheads.

II. In a second part, I'm going to talk about Martin Luther King's speech.

The speech by Martin Luther King is an excellent example to talk about the power of words.
This document is an extract from the "I Have a Dream" speech by Martin Luther King.

Martin Luther King wishes, with chosen and powerful words, to convey the values that really matter for him such as the hope that one day there won't be any inequality between blacks and whites.
He uses words in such a skillful manner that his famous speech reaches his goal: Many people become aware of the sheer injustice experienced by black Americans.
To convince the audience in front of him, Martin Luther King repeats several times the important ideas ("I have a dream") so that people remember them.
He also uses clear and simple ideas that everybody can grasp (“this is our hope").
So this speech is a form of power. Speeches make it possible to speak with a group or a population and thus to expose arguments, ideas to inform or convince a large number of people.

III. In a third part, I’m going to talk about protest in the 60s and 70s.

In the 60s and 70s, there were movements to fight against the injustices and to establish equal rights for everybody.
This document is an article for the website Lessonsite.com
(Quote)
This document explains the methods that these movements use to make known and to claim their cause. Thus, they hold strikes and marches, as well as distribute leaflets and petitions.
The words have an important function and power at the time of the protest movements. The words are present on the panels of the strikers, on the leaflets and the petitions and they are stressed by the protesters. They make it possible for such movements to convert people to their cause.

* * *

Regarding your sentence “Words can transcend conventional weapons and can after the world more than nuclear warheads”, you apparently need to change the non-verb “after” to a verb, either “affect” or “alter”.

Good luck with your orals and finals!
Mathea


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