Hi,
I'm French and I'd like an english-speaking person (US, if possible) to read a one-page letter (job seeking) and correct it or at least give me general advice on content before I send it. I can email it to the volunteer.
Problematics point could then be share on the forum.
english letter read-through
Moderators: kokoyaya, Beaumont
Re: english letter read-through
Take Anthos advise. I'll look through it too.Tonio wrote:Hi,
I'm French and I'd like an english-speaking person (US, if possible) to read a one-page letter (job seeking) and correct it or at least give me general advice on content before I send it. I can email it to the volunteer.
Problematics point could then be share on the forum.
A few points - an application should not be long-winded, no one wants to read a small novel to hire a guy.
So the essentials and what you hope to accomplish and what your objectives are.
That's it.
Good luck!
solbjerg
ok, so I put the essential of the letter...
Dear Dr ***,
Since I obtained my master degree, I worked one year in a French company and I’m currently looking for a position in USA in order to gain an international experience. I can be eligible for a J-1 visa and I would like to work as a trainee for few months. I intend to offer my competences in bioinformatics, databases and application development/maintenance
from January to August 2008.
While looking for plant research organizations, I was attracted by ** Institute activities and its high-level mastery in this domain. I have read on ** Institute website that you work especially on biotechnology data storage and analysis using databases and computational tools. I would be gratified to help you in this work and I hope you will find that my background and experience are a good match. Since I decided to focus my biology studies on information technologies, my career purpose is to work on program research as yours.
[few explanation about experience and background]
My enclosed resume contains additional information on my experience and skills. Please contact me at the email address above if you need any further information. I look forward to hearing from you and to learning more about your needs and work. In case you couldn’t follow up my request, perhaps might you transfer it to other potentially interested person at ** Institute, or tell me about opportunities you could know in [the town] or elsewhere.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
I have edited it a bit , it sounds alright now I think, but get an other opinionTonio wrote:ok, so I put the essential of the letter...
Dear Dr ***,
Since I obtained my master degree, I worked one year in a French company and I’m currently looking for a position in USA in order to gain an international experience. I can be eligible for a J-1 visa and I would like to work as a trainee for few months. I intend to offer my competences in bioinformatics, databases and application development/maintenance
from January to August 2008.
While looking for plant research organizations, I was attracted by ** Institute activities and its high-level mastery in this domain. I have read on ** Institute website that you work especially on biotechnology data storage and analysis using databases and computational tools. I would be gratified to help you in this work and I hope you will find that my background and experience are a good match. Since I decided to focus my biology studies on information technologies, my career purpose is to work on program research as yours.
[few explanation about experience and background]
My enclosed resume contains additional information on my experience and skills. Please contact me at the email address above if you need any further information. I look forward to hearing from you and to learning more about your needs and work. In case you couldn’t follow up my request, perhaps might you transfer it to other potentially interested person at ** Institute, or tell me about opportunities you could know in [the town] or elsewhere.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Dear Dr ***,
Since I obtained my masters degree, I worked one year in a French company and I’m currently looking for a position in USA in order to gain international experience.
I can be eligible for a J-1 visa and I would like to work as a trainee for few months.
I intend to offer my competences in bioinformatics, database and application development/maintenance from January 2008 to August 2008.
While looking for plant research organizations, I was attracted by ** Institute activities and its high-level mastery in this domain. I have read on ** Institute website that you work especially on biotechnology data storage and analysis using databases and computational tools.
I would be gratified to help you in this work and I hope you will find that my background and experience is a good match. Since I decided to focus my biology studies on information technologies, my career purpose is to work on program research like yours.
[few explanation about experience and background]
My enclosed resume contains additional information on my experience and skills. Please contact me at the email address above if you need any further information.
I look forward to hearing from you and to learn more about your needs and work.
In case you can’t - or don’t - follow up on my request, perhaps you would then be so kind as to forward it to another potentially interested person at ** Institute, or tell me about opportunities you are aware of in [the town] or elsewhere.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Hi Tonio
I’ve had a good look through and made some changes. Some are less to do with English and more about saying the right thing in a covering letter.
Queries below text.
Good luck :
PS I’m currently in England so don’t have French accents on keyboard
-------------------------------------------
Dear Dr ***,
After obtaining my master’s degree, I worked in a French company for one year. I’m currently looking for a position in the USA, in order to gain international experience. I would be eligible for a J-1 visa and I would like to work as a trainee for a few months. I intend to offer my skills in bioinformatics, databases and application development/maintenance from January to August 2008.
In the field of plant research, I was attracted by the ** Institute’s activities and its high-level expertise in this domain. Given the Institute’s focus on biotechnology data storage and analysis using databases and computational tools, I would be delighted to offer my services in this field. I hope and I am positive that you will find my background and experience a good match. Since deciding to focus my biology studies on information technologies, my career purpose has been to work on research programmes such as yours.
My enclosed resume contains additional information on my experience and skills. Please contact me at the email address above if you need any further information. I look forward to hearing from you and to learning more about your needs and work.
Thank you for your consideration.
Yours sincerely,
----------------------------
Si l’annee constitue toute ton experience professionnelle, il faut plutot mettre
After obtaining my master’s degree, I worked in a French company for one year
Mais a mon avis, l’essentiel est que t’as de l’experience professionelle. Egalement:
- sauf si c’est un atout pour le poste, ce n’est pas le peine de preciser que c’est une societe francaise.
- il faut pas dire que tu cherches un emploi international, il faut dire ce que TU vas LEUR apporter
Je propose pour le premier paragraphe
After obtaining my master’s degree and completing a 1-year work contract, I am now interested in working for the Institute as a trainee from January to August 2008. I can offer the skills I have gained in bioinformatics, databases and application development/maintenance. For your information, I would be eligible for a J-1 visa.
----------------------------
In case you couldn’t follow up my request, perhaps might you transfer it to other potentially interested person at ** Institute, or tell me about opportunities you could know in [the town] or elsewhere.
Ceci n’est pas a mettre dans ta premiere lettre.
----------------------------
j’espere que tu leur laisseras un numero de telephone – ils peuvent toujours te joindre pendant les horaires de bureau heure francaise.
I’ve had a good look through and made some changes. Some are less to do with English and more about saying the right thing in a covering letter.
Queries below text.
Good luck :
PS I’m currently in England so don’t have French accents on keyboard
-------------------------------------------
Dear Dr ***,
After obtaining my master’s degree, I worked in a French company for one year. I’m currently looking for a position in the USA, in order to gain international experience. I would be eligible for a J-1 visa and I would like to work as a trainee for a few months. I intend to offer my skills in bioinformatics, databases and application development/maintenance from January to August 2008.
In the field of plant research, I was attracted by the ** Institute’s activities and its high-level expertise in this domain. Given the Institute’s focus on biotechnology data storage and analysis using databases and computational tools, I would be delighted to offer my services in this field. I hope and I am positive that you will find my background and experience a good match. Since deciding to focus my biology studies on information technologies, my career purpose has been to work on research programmes such as yours.
My enclosed resume contains additional information on my experience and skills. Please contact me at the email address above if you need any further information. I look forward to hearing from you and to learning more about your needs and work.
Thank you for your consideration.
Yours sincerely,
----------------------------
Si l’annee constitue toute ton experience professionnelle, il faut plutot mettre
After obtaining my master’s degree, I worked in a French company for one year
Mais a mon avis, l’essentiel est que t’as de l’experience professionelle. Egalement:
- sauf si c’est un atout pour le poste, ce n’est pas le peine de preciser que c’est une societe francaise.
- il faut pas dire que tu cherches un emploi international, il faut dire ce que TU vas LEUR apporter
Je propose pour le premier paragraphe
After obtaining my master’s degree and completing a 1-year work contract, I am now interested in working for the Institute as a trainee from January to August 2008. I can offer the skills I have gained in bioinformatics, databases and application development/maintenance. For your information, I would be eligible for a J-1 visa.
----------------------------
In case you couldn’t follow up my request, perhaps might you transfer it to other potentially interested person at ** Institute, or tell me about opportunities you could know in [the town] or elsewhere.
Ceci n’est pas a mettre dans ta premiere lettre.
----------------------------
j’espere que tu leur laisseras un numero de telephone – ils peuvent toujours te joindre pendant les horaires de bureau heure francaise.
I think this passage needs a little editing, and have therefore done so:Tonio wrote:Merci bien pour ces bons conseils Anthos... Si avec ça j'arrive pas à quelquechose
In case you couldn’t follow up my request, perhaps you could transfer it to an other potentially interested person at ** Institute, or tell me about opportunities you might know in [the town] or elsewhere.
Good luck!