LokaNova et Freelang

Salut à tous,
voilà, je dois écrire un article de journal en anglais (pour le vendredi 16 mars)à partir de très peu d'informations:
- D. Jones est un reporter qui enquêtait sur une série de crimes
- Il est retrouvé mort à Londres: Il fut poignardé. Ses documents avaient disparu
- L'inspecteur O' Brian est chargé de l'enquête



David Jones, a reporter working for the newspaper « The Times » was found dead in alley of the city of London last Monday . In fact, the journalist was covering a series of crimes that’s why he was threatered and killed. There were five others crimes in the region which 2 others journalists working for the same paper. Consequently, the police did the link between these murders and the others crimes. Indeed, the murderer stabbed the victims in the back. As a consequence, the inspector charged of the investigation, Mr O’ Brian did the link and searched the serial killer. Moreover, the murderer fastened a number on the right ear of his victims. So, the first victim : a drug addict who was found dead, had the number 28, the second victim, a drug addict too had the number 13, the third, a cameraman investing with Mr Jones the assassination of first two victims had the number 9, the next investing the same afair had the number 14 and the last one : Mr Jones had the number 9. At the beginning, the police didn’t understand the meaning of the numbers.
According to Mr Jones’ family , before his dead, he bought a gun to defend himself because he felt threatened but he was assassinated. Actually, his boss undertook the reporter, a cameraman and a technician to investigate the dead of the first two victims. After two days, the technician was assassinated at home. The next day, the cameraman was stabbed while he was walking alone in a street. And three days after, David Jones was killed and his body was found in alley. According to the scientific police, his body was moved toward this alley. In fact, he was killed next to his work. They were killed because they discovered who was the serial killer of the first two victims. Unfortunately, they didn’t have the time to reveal who he was the killer. That’s why, the police found no notes near his body because the killer certainly take his notes . His notes contained the informations about the first two crimes.
In fact, his notes were found by the inspector in a dustbin in the street next to the alley : The murderer unluckily droped the papers while he was running after the assassination. Therefore the police and Mr O’Brian read the papers and could discover who was the killer. Consequently, they understood the meaning of the numbers. Actually, the number on the five victims meant the day of birthday of his 5 children.
- How happened the arrest of the criminal ?
- In fact, he is being with his family when we arrived. So, we encircled his house and he gave himself up to authorities after shooting at a policeman who was lightly wounded.
- What did the numbers mean found on the victims ?
- There were the days of the dates of birthday of his children. In fact, the drugs addicts had to pay the criminal because they didn’t pay him some drugs. Therefore, he killed them. After that, he discovered that some journalists investigated the murders. So he killed them. He put the numbers because it was the way of the serial killers.
The criminal will be tried the next month. He risks the life imprisonment.

J'ai oublié de poser la question:
est ce que j'ai des fautes ? Où ?


merci
La Marmotte

La Marmotte wrote:Salut à tous,
voilà, je dois écrire un article de journal en anglais (pour le vendredi 16 mars)à partir de très peu d'informations:
- D. Jones est un reporter qui enquêtait sur une série de crimes
- Il est retrouvé mort à Londres: Il fut poignardé. Ses documents avaient disparu
- L'inspecteur O' Brian est chargé de l'enquête



David Jones, a reporter working for the newspaper « The Times » was found dead in alley of the city of London last Monday . In fact, the journalist was covering a series of crimes that’s why he was threatered and killed. There were five others crimes in the region which 2 others journalists working for the same paper. Consequently, the police did the link between these murders and the others crimes. Indeed, the murderer stabbed the victims in the back. As a consequence, the inspector charged of the investigation, Mr O’ Brian did the link and searched the serial killer. Moreover, the murderer fastened a number on the right ear of his victims. So, the first victim : a drug addict who was found dead, had the number 28, the second victim, a drug addict too had the number 13, the third, a cameraman investing with Mr Jones the assassination of first two victims had the number 9, the next investing the same afair had the number 14 and the last one : Mr Jones had the number 9. At the beginning, the police didn’t understand the meaning of the numbers.
According to Mr Jones’ family , before his dead, he bought a gun to defend himself because he felt threatened but he was assassinated. Actually, his boss undertook the reporter, a cameraman and a technician to investigate the dead of the first two victims. After two days, the technician was assassinated at home. The next day, the cameraman was stabbed while he was walking alone in a street. And three days after, David Jones was killed and his body was found in alley. According to the scientific police, his body was moved toward this alley. In fact, he was killed next to his work. They were killed because they discovered who was the serial killer of the first two victims. Unfortunately, they didn’t have the time to reveal who he was the killer. That’s why, the police found no notes near his body because the killer certainly take his notes . His notes contained the informations about the first two crimes.
In fact, his notes were found by the inspector in a dustbin in the street next to the alley : The murderer unluckily droped the papers while he was running after the assassination. Therefore the police and Mr O’Brian read the papers and could discover who was the killer. Consequently, they understood the meaning of the numbers. Actually, the number on the five victims meant the day of birthday of his 5 children.
- How happened the arrest of the criminal ?
- In fact, he is being with his family when we arrived. So, we encircled his house and he gave himself up to authorities after shooting at a policeman who was lightly wounded.
- What did the numbers mean found on the victims ?
- There were the days of the dates of birthday of his children. In fact, the drugs addicts had to pay the criminal because they didn’t pay him some drugs. Therefore, he killed them. After that, he discovered that some journalists investigated the murders. So he killed them. He put the numbers because it was the way of the serial killers.
The criminal will be tried the next month. He risks the life imprisonment.

Bonsoir,

Selon moi :

- that’s why he was threatered : *threatened.

- and searched the serial killer. : *looked for the serial killer.

- he was killed next to his work. : *workplace.

- the police found no notes : *didn't found a single note.

- The murderer unluckily droped : *dropped.

- he was running after the assassination : *running away.

- How happened the arrest of the criminal ? : *How did the arrest of the criminal happen?

- What did the numbers mean found on the victims ? : *What did the numbers found on the victims mean?

- investigated the murders : *crimes.

- In fact, he is being with his family when we arrived : *he was with...

- The criminal will be tried the next month : *Pas compris le sens! =|

The criminal will be tried the next month. : Je pense que tu veux dire qu'il va etre jugé.

Donc:

The criminal will be judged next month.
ou
The trial will start next month.

oui, merci

David Jones, a reporter working for the newspaper "The Times" was found dead in an alley in London ((the City of London, si tu parles du quartier d'affaires)) last Monday. In fact((pourquoi in fact)), the journalist was covering a series of crimes; that’s why he was threatened and killed. There have been five other people murdered in the region, including two other journalists working for the same paper. Consequently, the police made the link between these murders and the other crimes. Indeed, the murderer stabbed the victims in the back. As a consequence, the inspector charged with the investigation, Mr O’ Brian made the link and searched for the serial killer. Moreover, the murderer fastened a number on the right ear of his victims: the first victim, a drug addict who was found dead, had the number 28; the second victim, also a drug addict, had the number 13; the third, a cameraman investigating the assassination of the first two victims with Mr Jones, had the number 9; the fourth, investigating the same affair, had the number 14; and the last victim, Mr Jones, had the number 9. At the beginning, the police didn’t understand the meaning of the numbers.
According to his family, Mr Jones had bought a gun to defend himself because he felt threatened but he was assassinated((pourquoi but?)). Actually, his boss hired the reporter, a cameraman and a technician to investigate the death of the first two victims. After two days, the technician was assassinated at home. The next day, the cameraman was stabbed while he was walking alone in a street. And three days later, David Jones was killed and his body was found in an alley. According to the forensic police, his body was moved to this alley. In fact, he was killed next to his workplace. They were killed because they had discovered the identity of the killer of the first two victims. Unfortunately, they didn’t have the time to reveal who the killer was. That’s why the police found no notes near his body because the killer had certainly taken them. His notes contained information about the first two crimes.
In fact, his notes were found by the inspector in a dustbin in the street next to the alley : The murderer dropped the papers while he was running away after the assassination. Therefore the police and Mr O’Brian read the papers and discovered who the killer was . Consequently, they understood the meaning of the numbers. The numbers on the five victims were the birthdays of his 5 children.
- How was the criminal arrested?
- In fact, he was with his family when we arrived. So, we surrounded his house and he gave himself up to authorities after shooting a policeman, who was lightly wounded.
- What did the numbers found on the victims mean?
- There were the birthdays of his children. In fact, the drug addicts had to pay the criminal ((sens??)) because they hadn't paid him for some drugs. Therefore, he killed them. After that, he discovered that some journalists were investigating the murders. So he killed them. He put the numbers because it was the way of the serial killers.
The criminal will be tried next month. He risks life imprisonment.

merci beaucoup!!!