LokaNova et Freelang

bonjour,

J'aimerais une petite correction svp
Merci

JE n’ai pas un anlgais courant.
Je vais vous expliquer mes stages.
En DUT j’ai effectué un stage chez XX aux services financier ou j’avais pour mission d’éffectuer un audit dans leur filiale immobilière.
En Master j’ai fais un stage en roumanie durant 4 mois, ou j’avais pour mission d’effectuer un circuit touristique destiné aux francais. Il m’a permis de développer mes capacités d’adaptation.
J’ai fais un stage chez XX. J’avais pour mission d’analyser leur taux de service et de proposer des solutions d’amélioration. Mainternant ma mission a aboutit car certaines de mes propositions ont été mise en place
Actuellement, je réalise un projet chez XX, ou je dois modéliser les flux de l’entreprise.
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I will explain my experience.
During my first University year I spent 3 month gaining work experience with XX. My task was an audit in their subsidiary property in the financial servicies.
During my Licence, I have make my period trainig during 4 months in Romania. My task was the realisation of a touristic circuitfor the french customers. So, I can devleopp my capacities of adaptation.

In Master I year, I have make my period training in RXX. My mission was the amelioration of the rate service and give amelioration of improvement. Now, my mission has succeed because some of my proposals were set up.

Nowadays, i have a projet in a little firm and my task is to model the flow of the firm.

JE n’ai pas un anlgais courant.
Je vais vous expliquer mes stages.
En DUT j’ai effectué un stage chez XX aux services financier ou j’avais pour mission d’éffectuer un audit dans leur filiale immobilière.
En Master j’ai fais un stage en roumanie durant 4 mois, ou j’avais pour mission d’effectuer un circuit touristique destiné aux francais. Il m’a permis de développer mes capacités d’adaptation.
J’ai fais un stage chez XX. J’avais pour mission d’analyser leur taux de service et de proposer des solutions d’amélioration. Mainternant ma mission a aboutit car certaines de mes propositions ont été mise en place
Actuellement, je réalise un projet chez XX, ou je dois modéliser les flux de l’entreprise.
=====

I will explain my experience.
During my first University year year at the University, I spent 3 months gaining work experience with XX. My task was an audit of their subsidiary property in the financial servicieses.
During my Licence, I have make my period trainig completed a training period during of 4 months in Romania. My task was the realisation of a touristic circuit for the French customers. So,It permitted me to I candevelop my capabilities of in adaptation.

In Master I year, I have make my period training spent my training period in RXX. My mission was to to analyze the service rates and make proposals for improvement. Now, my mission has succeed because My work was succesful as evidenced by the fact that some of my proposals were set up.

Nowadays Currently, I have a project in a little firm and my task is to model the flow of the firm.

Ce n'est pas plutôt le travail des traducteurs professionnels ?

Non, on a toujours donné un coup de main pour les CV, surtout si la personne soumet son propre travail. Pas de problème avec l'éthique du forum de ce côté-là.

Bonjour, je propose une autre version, en reprenant certaines modifs déjas proposées.
quelquues trucs:
- je pense que real estate est plus parlant que property
- taux de service= ???
- flux de l’entreprise=?.
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I will explain my experience.
During my first year at university, I spent 3 months gaining work experience with XX. My task was to carry out an audit in the real estate section of the financial services department.
During my Master's, I did a traineeship for 4 months in Romania. My task was to design a tour for French tourists. This experience allowed me to develop my adaptatibiilty.
I also did a traineeship at XX, where my mission was to analyze their service rate and provide suggestions for improvement. I consider that my mission was successful as some of my suggestions have been implemented.

My current project, at XX , is to model the flows within the company.