correction email anglais

[xtrem]

Bonjour,

j'ai besoin de vous pour corriger un email que je vais envoyer pour candidater pour un stage en angleterre

merci d'avance

Dear Mr Martin,

I contact you after discussed with friends ( Cyril and Emmanuel) with whom I study in the 2nd year of an HND in Computing at the University Institute of Technology of Montpellier in France.
They informed me about you and the internship program that they are going to achieve with you from February 8th.

I would be very grateful (to) you to take me an opportunity to make the same training course with you to perform my education and experience all the more (d'autant plus) that artificial inteligence intrigues me and I would like to deepen (approfondir) it during this training course. It will also provide me the occasion to put into practice the knowledge I have learnt during my studies.

I am passionate about new technologies, particulary informatics research and I feel that I am qualified to make an effective contribution to your researchs.
Moreover, a placement with you would allows me to perfect my English.

Thank you for your consideration of my application. Please contact me should you require any further information,

Yours sincerely

[Vera]

Dear Mr Martin,

I am contacting you after a discussion with friends ( Cyril and Emmanuel) with whom I am studying in the 2nd year of an HND in Computing at the University Institute of Technology of Montpellier in France.
They informed me about you and the internship programme* that they are going to achieve with you from February 8th.

I would be very grateful if you could give me an opportunity to do the same training course with you to further my education and experience, all the more as I find artificial intelligence to be an intriguing subject and would like to study it in greater depth during this training course. It will also provide me with the occasion to put into practice the knowledge I have learnt during my studies.

I am passionate about new technologies, particulary informatics research and I feel that I am qualified to make an effective contribution to your researches.
Moreover, a placement with you would allow me to perfect my English.

Thank you for your consideration of my application. Please contact me should you require any further information,

Yours sincerely

*À noter: “program” es l’orthographe américaine; en Grande-Bretagne on ne l’écrit que pour désigner un programme informatique.