LokaNova et Freelang

salut tt le monde,
voilà j'aimerais qu'on me corrige svp, au niveau de la syntaxe,des fautes d'orthographe et du temps employés.et si vous trouvez des meilleures tournures de phrases, écrivez les.c'un essai sur un film qu'on a vu.

I have very appreciated the film Fahrenheit 9/11 because the director Michael Moore knows how to balance humour and seriousness to create a good documentary.
In this documentary , we can find a few revelations, for example the falsification of the presidential elections .
There are many revolting scenes : the methods of soldiers recruitments, the police tries to convince people from working class families to join the army for that their studies will be funded; Georges w bush doesn’t act when he learns the two twins tower are destructed by terrorists planes, instead of acting, he continues to read a story to a class; then Bush went on holidays instead of working; the American soldiers are glad when he succeed to kill an Irakian…
This film moves, as well by the hardness of the images as by the extreme sincerity of stories, of this mother who lost her son in Iraq on behalf of Bush , of this Iraqi woman who requests Allah to avenge her following the destruction for her house.
And there are also funny moments that I liked.
However, I don’t agree with an essential point, it is when he presents Iraq as if it were a nice place before the war. this was a totalitarian regime, run by a brutal dictator , what it proves M.Moore doesn’t like Georges bush and so he puts images that favours his point of view.
Nevertheless, I like this film.

merci d'avance

Voici quelques suggestions, ce n'est pas exhaustif, et je te laisse faire le tri entre ce que je te raconte et ce qui te semble juste Si tu as des questions sur mes remarques, n'hésite pas à demander !

I have very appreciated j'aurais mis I really enjoyed the film Fahrenheit 9/11 because the director Michael Moore knows how to balance humour and seriousness to create a good documentary.
In this documentary , we can find a few revelations, for example the falsification of the presidential elections . Est ce vraiment une révélation ?
There are many revolting scenes : the methods of soldiers recruitments, the police Il me semble que c'était des militaires, pas des policiers, mais il faudrait vérifier tries to convince people from working class families to join the army for so à la place de for that their studies will be funded; Georges w bush doesn’t act when he learns when he's told the two c'est redondant le two, non ? twins tower are destructed by terrorists planes guided by terrorists ? (les avions ne sont pas terrorists en eux mêmes), instead of acting, he continues to read a story to a class il ne leur lit pas d'histoire je crois, il assiste seulement à la classe; then Bush went goes (tu étais au présent jusque là, il vaut mieux garder le temps) on holidays instead of working; the American soldiers are glad when he succeeds to kill an Irakian… Mais je ne vois pas de quoi tu parles, Bush a tué un Irakien lui même ?

This film moves je ne sais pas si on peut l'utiliser sans complément : moves the audience, as well pas as well au début by the hardness of the images as well as by the extreme sincerity of the stories, of this mother who lost her son in Iraq on behalf of Bush , of this Iraqi woman who requests Allah to avenge her following the destruction for her house.
And there are also funny moments that I liked.
However, I don’t agree with an essential point, it is when he qui ça he ? je dirais Michael Moore là presents Iraq as if it were a nice place before the war. this It was a totalitarian regime, run by a brutal dictator , problème d'articulation entre les deux phrases ici what it proves M.Moore doesn’t like Georges bush and so he puts images that favours his point of view.
Nevertheless, I like this film.

merci beaucoup pour tes conseils, pourrais encore jeter un coup d'oeil sur ma correction svp.merci


I really enjoyed the film Fahrenheit 9/11 because the director Michael Moore knows how to balance humour and seriousness to create a good documentary. In this documentary , we can find interesting things (choses interessantes,), for example the falsification of the presidential elections . There are many revolting scenes : the methods of soldiers recruitments, the serviceman (militaire) tries to convince people from working class families to join the army for so that their studies will be funded; Georges w bush doesn’t act when he learns when he's told the twins tower are destructed by planes guided by terrorists instead of acting, he continues to talk with child of a class ; then Bush goes on holidays instead of working; the American soldiers are glad when they succeed to kill an Irakian…(je parle quand les soldats américains sont contents lorsque il tue un irakien, ils se prennent comme s’ils étaient dans un jeu video) This film moves the audience (en fait ,je veux dire que c’est un film émouvant), by the hardness of the images as well as by the extreme sincerity of the stories, of this mother who lost her son in Iraq on behalf of Bush , of this Iraqi woman who requests Allah to avenge her following the destruction for her house. And there are also funny moments that I liked. However, I don’t agree with an essential point, it is when Michael Moore presents Iraq as if it were a nice place before the war. It was a totalitarian regime, run by a brutal dictator , ( ce qui prouve que) what it proves M.Moore doesn’t like Georges bush and so he puts images that favours his point of view. Nevertheless, I like this film.

Voilà, encore qq remarques mais c'est déjà pas mal

I really enjoyed the film Fahrenheit 9/11 because the director Michael Moore knows how to balance humour and seriousness to create a good documentary. In this documentary , we can find interesting things (choses interessantes,), for example the falsification of the presidential elections . There are many revolting scenes : the methods of soldiers recruitments, the serviceman (militaire) plutôt au pluriel : Servicemen try tries to convince people from working class families to join the army for il faut enlever le for so that their studies will be funded; Georges w bush attention aux majuscules doesn’t act when he learns when he's told the twins tower the Twin Towers are destructed by planes guided by terrorists ; instead of acting, he continues to talk with children of in plutôt que of a class ; then Bush goes on holidays instead of working; . comme tu changes complètement d'idée the American soldiers are glad when they succeed manage me plaît plus que succeed en fait to kill an Irakian…(je parle quand les soldats américains sont contents lorsque il tue un irakien, ils se prennent comme s’ils étaient dans un jeu video) This film moves the audience (en fait ,je veux dire que c’est un film émouvant -> oui j'avais bien compris, et c'est que ma proposition veut dire , by the hardness of the images as well as by the extreme sincerity of the stories, of this mother who lost her son in Iraq on behalf of Bush , of this Iraqi woman who requests Allah to avenge herself following after plutôt que following the destruction for of plutôt que for her house. And there are also funny moments that I liked. However, I don’t agree with an essential point, it is when Michael Moore presents Iraq as if it were bravo pou le were au fait a nice place before the war. It was a totalitarian regime, run by a brutal dictator , ( ce qui prouve que) En fait ta phrase est mal construite Là on dirait que le fait que l'Irak était dirigée par un diictateur prouve que bla bla. Ce que tu veux dire c'est la description de la situation en Irak avant la guerre prouve que.... Il faut donc repenser ton paragraphe what it proves M.Moore doesn’t like Georges bush and so he puts images that favours his point of view. Nevertheless, I like this film.

merci infiniment pour ta réponse
bye