Commentaire de texte (bts)

[LODYLAROSE]

Bonjour, j'aimerai que quelqu'un puisse éventuellement me corrigé mon commentaire et me dire ce qui va, ce qui ne va pas. Est ce que le contenu et la synthaxe sont corrects car jai un niveau assez faible en anglais. Merci par avance.

This text is an extract from the Independent, written by Sarah Strickland the 23 June in 2000. It is entitled: " Cambodian clothing workers take to streets over Conditions".
It deals with tyhe bad conditions of work in a underdeveloped country. The clothing xorkers are on strike because they want better working conditions. This strike takes polace in Phnom Penh in Cambodia.
This text is divided into 3 parts:

1/ the clothing workers are anger in Cambodia.

We learns clothing workers are anger. They go on strike on the sreets of Phnom Penh because they want better pay and shorter hours. Two firms are concerned: The Gap and The Fruit of the Loom.

2/ The garment factory: The backbone of economy.

We can see the industry has expanded rapidly because the number of factory is increasing from 30 to 178 between 1996 and 2000. On the other hand the export sales is too increasing from 378million of dollards to 600 million of dollards between 1998 and 1999. (je trouve que cette phrase est lourde mais je ne ne sais pas comment le dire autrement).

3/ The demand of clothing workers

They want to a minimum wage, the sick leaves, to work shorter hours. On the other hand , they don't want any more suffer from verbal and physical abuse. Lastly, they don't want any longer to be dismissed without reason. But in spite of the regurlarly visit of the inspectors, the clothing workers continue to complain.


To conclude we can says the fact that clothing workers work in bad conditions in Cambodia gives a negative image of employyees. Personnaly I think these employees are heartless, they behave in their own interest. They want to realize a maximum profit, that's why they makr to work their workers in the precariousness. They want to realize economy of sclae, that is to have unskilled labour by the cheap.
The clothing workers are so exploited in Cambodia.

Merci.

[grzespelc]

.

This text is an extract from The Independent of 23 June, 2000, written by Sarah Strickland. It is entitled: " Cambodian clothing workers take to streets over Conditions".
It deals with the bad conditions of work in an underdeveloped country. The clothing workers are on strike because they want better working conditions. This strike takes place in Phnom Penh in Cambodia.
This text is divided into 3 parts:

1/ the clothing workers are angry in Cambodia.

We learn clothing workers are angry. They go on strike on the streets of Phnom Penh because they want better pay and shorter hours. Two firms are concerned: The Gap and The Fruit of the Loom.

2/ The garment factory: The backbone of economy.

We can see the industry has expanded rapidly because the number of factory has increased from 30 to 178 between 1996 and 2000. On the other hand the export sales has also increased from 378 million dollars to 600 million dollars between 1998 and 1999.

3/ The demand of clothing workers

They want a minimum wage, the sick leaves, shorter working hours. On the other hand , they don't want to suffer from verbal and physical abuse any more . Lastly, they don't want to be dismissed without reason any longer . But in spite of regurlar visits of inspectors, the clothing workers continue to complain.


To conclude we can say the fact that clothing workers work in bad conditions in Cambodia gives a negative image of employers. Personnaly I think these employers are heartless, they behave in their own interest. They want to realize a maximum profit, that's why they make their workers work in the precariousness. They want to realize economy of scale, that is to have unskilled labour by the cheap.(?? j'ai pas bien compris les 2 dernieres phrases)
The clothing workers are so exploited in Cambodia.

[lodylarose]

merci beaucoup pour votre aide.

Pour les 2 dernieres phrases, je voulais dire que les employeurs veulent réaliser un maximum de profit, c'est pourquoi ils font travailler les ouvriers dans la précarité. Ils veulent réaliser des économies d'echelle, c'est à dire avoir de la main d'oeuvre non qualifié à bon marché.

je sais pas si cela est correct, qu'en pensé vous?

[Latinus]

VOICI LA SUITE DE MON EXERCICE. LE BUT EST DE REPONDRE A UNE QUESTION, c'est à dire donner son avis. Pourriez vous éventuellement me corriger les fautes. Voici la question:

Do you think such an article is good for the image of the Gap company?

I think it gives not a good image of this firm, on the contrary I find it shows how are treated the workers. The employers exploit their workers, they make them work in unberable and indecents conditions. Their salary are lows, they work unpaid supplementary hours, have not paid sick leaves... Sometimes they are dismissed without motive. This situation becomes unacceptable for the workers. The workers play a role dynamic in economy, therefore in my opinion it is necessary to bring them a minimumof security in their job.