Bonsoir à tous,
Voilà, je postule pour un job qui j'aimerais beaucoup obtenir.
J'aimerais donc être sur que je n'ai pas fait de fautes, et que le choix des verbes et mots est judicieux, et j'ai particulièrement peur pour ça.
Si qqn a un peu de temps pour jeter un oeil et me donner des commentaires, merci d'avance.
Benoit
Dear XXX,
I am hereby applying for the XXX position advertised on the XXX website.
With my strong scientific background, my training in management and my experience abroad, I believe I could make a valuable contribution to XXX in this position.
I will have completed my XXX in Augustus from the XXX in XXX. As part of the programme, I have learnt to quickly adapt myself to new technologies and to resolve problems.
In a multinational corporation like XXX, I think my experiences abroad, both in North America and in East Europe have prepared me for making an immediate contribution. They taught me to work with different partners from various nationality and background, in English and French. I had also to discuss and present various results and works to an international assistance.
I believe that my cursus has prepared me to manage a project under different aspects, economically, scientifically, and socially.
I am willing to travel and learn and develop languages and other trainings to improve through XXX.
I have enclosed a copy of my resume with additional information about my qualifications. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to receiving your reply.
Sincerely,
Correction d'un essai en anglais (une demi page!)
Moderators: kokoyaya, Beaumont, Sisyphe
Hello,
I'm not an expert, but I noticed some things.
1- Augustus : If you mean the month, as far as I know, it's called August in English. ( Augustus is a name, Augustus Caesar for example )
2-They taught me to work with different partners from various nationalities.
3- I am willing to travel, learn and develop languages. ( I don't think you need to repeat and here )
4-Resume : in English it's written résumé. ( I checked the dictionary ).
That's all I noticed, and as I mentioned I'm not an expert, so let's wait for a better answer.
I'm not an expert, but I noticed some things.
1- Augustus : If you mean the month, as far as I know, it's called August in English. ( Augustus is a name, Augustus Caesar for example )
2-They taught me to work with different partners from various nationalities.
3- I am willing to travel, learn and develop languages. ( I don't think you need to repeat and here )
4-Resume : in English it's written résumé. ( I checked the dictionary ).
That's all I noticed, and as I mentioned I'm not an expert, so let's wait for a better answer.
"We must win. The winning side will be happier."
~Toyotama team, SLAM DUNK
~Toyotama team, SLAM DUNK
Incluant les corrections de boulevard, et mes commentaires entre [crochets] :
Dear XXX,
I hereby apply for the XXX position advertised on the XXX website.
With my strong scientific background, my training in management and my experience abroad, I believe I could make a valuable contribution to XXX in this position.
I will have completed my XXX in August from the XXX in XXX [explications ?]. As part of the programme, I have learnt to quickly adapt myself to new technologies and to solve problems.
In a multinational corporation like XXX, I think my experiences abroad [répétition], both in North America and Eastern Europe [pas de « in » avant Eastern Europe] have prepared me for making an immediate contribution. They taught me to work with different partners from various nationalities and backgrounds, both in English and in French [ou bien « in both English and French »]. I also had to discuss and present various results and works to an international assistance. [j'ai peur de ne pas comprendre cette dernière phrase...]
I believe that my cursus has prepared me to manage a project under different aspects, economically, scientifically [pas de virgule] and socially.
I am willing to travel, and to learn and develop languages and other trainings to improve through XXX.
I have enclosed a copy of my résumé with additional informations about [je préfère regarding] my qualifications. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to receiving your reply.
Truly yours,
Dear XXX,
I hereby apply for the XXX position advertised on the XXX website.
With my strong scientific background, my training in management and my experience abroad, I believe I could make a valuable contribution to XXX in this position.
I will have completed my XXX in August from the XXX in XXX [explications ?]. As part of the programme, I have learnt to quickly adapt myself to new technologies and to solve problems.
In a multinational corporation like XXX, I think my experiences abroad [répétition], both in North America and Eastern Europe [pas de « in » avant Eastern Europe] have prepared me for making an immediate contribution. They taught me to work with different partners from various nationalities and backgrounds, both in English and in French [ou bien « in both English and French »]. I also had to discuss and present various results and works to an international assistance. [j'ai peur de ne pas comprendre cette dernière phrase...]
I believe that my cursus has prepared me to manage a project under different aspects, economically, scientifically [pas de virgule] and socially.
I am willing to travel, and to learn and develop languages and other trainings to improve through XXX.
I have enclosed a copy of my résumé with additional informations about [je préfère regarding] my qualifications. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to receiving your reply.
Truly yours,
Si, ayant frappé ton prochain sur une joue, il te tend l'autre, frappe-le sur la même, ça lui apprendra à faire le malin. ~François Cavanna
-
marcel et son orchestre
- Guest
Je fais des corrections directement sur ton texte (sans avoir lu les commentaires des autres, c'est plus vite comme ça). Quelques commentaires:
Je suppose XXX in XXX est du format 'from the University of Anytown in September 2007', si c'est le cas, c'est correcte.
Mais que ira dans XXX dans "through XXX. "
Le mot résumé est américain, si c'est pour les britanniques, mets "CV"
Dear XXX,
I am hereby applying for the XXX position advertised on the XXX website.
With my strong scientific background, my training in management and my experience abroad, I believe I could make a valuable contribution to XXX in this position.
I will have completed my XXX in Augustus from the XXX in XXX. As part of the programme, I have learnt to quickly adapt to new technologies and to resolve problems.
In a multinational corporation like XXX, I think my experiences abroad, both in North America and in East Europe would allow me to make an immediate contribution. They taught me to work with different partners from various nationalities and backgrounds, in English and French. I also had to discuss and present various results and projects to an international audience.
I believe that my cursus has prepared me to manage the different aspects of a project, the economic, scientific and social.
I am willing to travel, to learn and develop my languages and to undergo training to improve through XXX.
I have enclosed my resume with additional information about my qualifications. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to receiving your reply.
Sincerely,
Je suppose XXX in XXX est du format 'from the University of Anytown in September 2007', si c'est le cas, c'est correcte.
Mais que ira dans XXX dans "through XXX. "
Le mot résumé est américain, si c'est pour les britanniques, mets "CV"
Dear XXX,
I am hereby applying for the XXX position advertised on the XXX website.
With my strong scientific background, my training in management and my experience abroad, I believe I could make a valuable contribution to XXX in this position.
I will have completed my XXX in Augustus from the XXX in XXX. As part of the programme, I have learnt to quickly adapt to new technologies and to resolve problems.
In a multinational corporation like XXX, I think my experiences abroad, both in North America and in East Europe would allow me to make an immediate contribution. They taught me to work with different partners from various nationalities and backgrounds, in English and French. I also had to discuss and present various results and projects to an international audience.
I believe that my cursus has prepared me to manage the different aspects of a project, the economic, scientific and social.
I am willing to travel, to learn and develop my languages and to undergo training to improve through XXX.
I have enclosed my resume with additional information about my qualifications. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to receiving your reply.
Sincerely,
-
marcel et son orchestre
- Guest
N'en étant pas un, et n'ayant jamais fait affaire avec des Américains, je ne sais pas. Mais on nous a toujours appris que c'était une façon correcte de conclure une lettre formelle... Évidemment, tous mes professeurs d'anglais jusqu'à date étaient des Canadiens francophones (et sans vouloir me vanter, je m'exprime mieux que quelques uns d'entre eux...) donc ça peut être faux, aussi.ANTHOS wrote:Cette formule n'est pas répandu parmi les britanniques (et je n'aime pas du tout personnellement). Je ne pense pas qu'il convienne dans le contexte mais j'avoue que je ne sais pas quel est son effet sur les américains.dYShock wrote:Truly yours
Ouais. Mieux que « truly yours », maintenant que tu le mentionnes.Dada wrote:Je pense qu'un classique "With best regards" fera l'affaire.
Si, ayant frappé ton prochain sur une joue, il te tend l'autre, frappe-le sur la même, ça lui apprendra à faire le malin. ~François Cavanna