chinese logic

[try again]

yesterday i was talkin abut the film""brokeback moutain"by ann lee...
i said i thought it was understandable two men go together.

but i told him,i was quite confused and feeling strange.i mean,their love is too sudden.just think,can two men be lovers by just one getting too cold outside and accidently came into the tent sharin the same bed with the another man,and then their romance begin.lol..however,they never even have feelings for each other b4 this!

i told tom all about this...and i said again,in our chinese logic,it is strange.

however,he said,no...he said,it was first become lovers,and then fall in love..that is,first physically ,and then emotionally.

i actually find tom's theory correct in many western movies.however,it was actually the opposite in chinese or korean movies. we always first emotional ,and the emotional runs always long,if no accident..and then physical.

i think it is also about the views that chinese and westerners see things.i still remember in my english class,the youngster came from england said we were asking too formal questions,why we don;t ask if he has a gf...and then the class break into laughters.

actually in china,parents are mostly strick about the romance,in england their young son(teens) has a gf,parents may feel happy..here is not the case,parents and teachers mostly would try best to stop teen love. if two teens have sex or even prenant,they may even gossip and get angry.

however still some exceptions about that,like,in my senior high,teachers (except our headteacher..lol)would joke about the teen love between some lovers in the class.waht i saw on tv is even funnier,the chinese teacher even ask "u ever kiss ur gf b4 in the class?"in front of the whole class.lol~~but i must say,this is very rare teacher.

so what do u see in ur eys? do u agree with me?

[ElieDeLeuze]

Two gay men meet, they like each other.... how long do they need to go to business?

[Maïwenn]

Two gay men meet, they like each other.... how long do they need to go to business?

Yes, that's a thing : gays often spend less time on courting and chasing than heterosexual couples...

As for the gap between China and the western world, it's very wide indeed! I have many Chinese friends -I have even dated a couple of them- and I was surprised by their shyness. Of course it's impossible to generalize, but for example in China it's still quite normal to be a virgin on your wedding day, whereas in Europe it's seen as very outdated (religious reasons are another matter, but obviously we're not talking about them in China). My former boyfriend told me that his dad once asked him if his girlfriend was a virgin (not me, another one before). To me it's like going back to the 50's or before! I also find that the Chinese (and Asian people in general) are pretty miserly in displaying affection, like kissing for example, even in private.

if two teens have sex or even prenant,they may even gossip and get angry.

I don't know many western parents who'd be happy to know their teen daughter is pregnant. But it's true that as far as sex is concerned they are more relaxed, even though they may get worried as well : pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases... Oh, another thing about them : I have the feeling that in Asia they are used as no-sex tools (see what's going to happen to you if you have sex!), whereas in France we are taught how to avoid them, which doesn't mean that we shouldn't have sex.

[Beaumont]

I can see some similarities with the way things happen here in Thailand. Everything is made to discourage "teen love" too. There is no sexual education, and as a result you have schoolgirls becoming pregnant because they know nothing about contraception. They watch stupid emotional movies on TV everyday, where you can see people shouting, getting mad at each other or even killing each other, but you will never see or hear the slightest allusion about sex. It's like sex and love are two different things, and there is this idea that sex is something men need and women provide. That's why you have such a high rate of sex assault, and that's why so many girls, including students, become prostitutes. Sex is not about love, sex is either something you buy and sell, or something parents make silently at night while the kids are sleeping (more often than not in the same room). There is very little place for teen sex, fun sex, or whatever you call it.

Displaying affection in public, as Maiwenn said, is also taboo. You can enter a bar and go out with a prostitute within ten minutes, but you can't kiss your wife in public, that's shocking. On the other hand there is a great tolerance, as far as I can see, for homosexuals, travestites or transsexuals.

Strange country, full of contradictions at first sight, and then you understand it's the Asian way.

[Maïwenn]

Despite all that Beaumont said (and I agree), I find the Thais highly sexual, whereas the Chinese are so shy (how to say "coincé" in English?)

[try again]

As for the gap... very wide indeed! ...- and I was surprised by their shyness.... in China it's still quite normal to be a virgin on your wedding day, whereas in Europe it's seen as very outdated .... To me it's like going back to the 50's or before! I also find that the Chinese (and Asian people in general) are pretty miserly in displaying affection, like kissing for example, even in private.

yeah... i think what u said is true.it is really the case in most part of china,and for most chinese.

about the virgin on the wedding,yeah,i think it is an important issue in china.parents and relatives mostly care about that,and if the girl is not,she may be gossip(if with another man,not her husband) and even marriage is successful however she may be still under a lotta pressure of not being a virgin on the wedding day.

u remind me of the movie pearl harbor,lol..i remember one scene is that the boy come to find the girl,who was dressing pajama that night,a bit exposed,however the girl and the boy felt shy.that was a movie telling stories of 1930s or so,we can see that the usa ppl at that period is not so open,right?

and why kissing is shy for chinese and even in private,i think it is coz we arent like western manners, like,when we meet,we make a bow with hands folded in front,while the westerners shake hands and hug,why is that? coz chinese are introvert,westerners,outgoing.Outgoing,so that they stretch their hands out to shake others' hands.Introvert,so we use our own hand to shake our anther own.lol~~~it is just like using chocksticks,the strength is to go inside;however,when westerners use knives and forks,the strength is to go ouside. one is out going,and another is in coming,so that the symbol of western culture is the cross,while chinese is tai ji.right??~~~lol

.. more relaxed,... get worried as well...pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases....

the reasons why we take having sex seriously are,
firstly,having sex in acient chinese tradition is a big thing,if a woman have sex with a guy,the the guy is regarded as her husband or at least take care of her in the rest of her life.sex always equals marriage!!now the spirit still remains.
secondly,like i said b4,u may under a lotta social pressure,(mostly for girls)ppl would gossip or blar blar blar...
thirdly,the disease is easy to tranmitted.
forth,which is the last i could think of now,is that chinese ppl's idea of love is sth need to be forever,one life,one love~~~most of them will have only one lover for one life,so having sex is usually meant for one person..at least,they don;t part easily,even they have really different ideas.at least our last generation is the case...coz divorce here are seen not sth good.but our this generation is changing anyway~~

[Beaumont]

that was a movie telling stories of 1930s or so,we can see that the usa ppl at that period is not so open,right?

They are still shocked when they see a woman's breast, so they still have a long way to go...

[Tyori]

I find this whole thought process unbelievably fascinating, and more than a little cute. I live in BC, Canada, and here we're kind of... I dunno, it just doesn't matter to us. At least, the people I hang around with are pretty vacant when it comes to tradition and sexuality. We all figure that if you like someone, you like them, regardless of thier gender. Age is a little different though, but if the age difference is 20 years or less, it's basically a free-for-all. You can marry who-ever the hell you want! 8D In the high schools, you're EXPECTED to loose your virginity within the first year (or two), if you haven't already. We have Sex Ed in Grade 4-7, since High school starts at 8. Parents don't approve, but teachers don't care. Society in general acts like your a social reject if you're a virgin over, like... 15 or 16 years old. Rather bothersome for me, still being one myself. I think they draw the line at loosing your clothes. Public indecency, and all that. You can make out all you like in public as long as your clothes stay on, you're pants remain zipped, and you stay out of everyone's way. Like, if you go at it on a sidewalk, someone will come along and kick you and tell you to get the hell off the sidewalk. Seriously. Find a bush.

Girls are still bitchy if the guy they like doesn't catch thier hints though, no matter how obvious you're being. It's hard to get anyones attention without throwing yourself on them; too much internet porn, maybe?? I feel like I live in a collection of couchpotato whores sometimes. I personally believe in 'the one' or whatever, so I just carry on life as is. I figure someone'll pop out of the woodwork when I least expect it, connect emotionally, and I'll be happy with that. I have high standards for others and myself though, so no luck so far. ... I can't believe how apathetic I sounded just there... O_O

I'm not entirely sure, but I think what my original thought I wanted to mention was that movies are not like real life... For... my half of this town. The other half I don't like to think about. ^^;